Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Too much rock for just one hand...\mm/

Yep can't sleep so heres whats keeping me awake...


The Criteria are there needs to be at least four members to your group:

1. A Drummer. Where would we be without drummers?
2. A Bass player, not a bass player (i.e. one who strums a fish)
3. A Rythmn guitarist
4. A Lead guitarist

You may add a pure vocalist to make a fifth member of the band otherwise one of the above must sing.

Keyboards, Accordians, Flutes (sorry Kieryn), Kazoos and other blasphemous rock instruments need not apply.

Yes thats right blasphemous.

Altho Hendrix did play a Kazoo in a song once, and a Flute too incidentally. And Keyboards too. Dammit. Ok definitely no Accordians.

Altho if I were to allow instruments played by Hendrix I would have to allow the Glockenspiel as well!

ALL members of the band MUST be alive. No you may not take Hendrix, Elvis (yes Elvis counts as a guitarist, no you may not have him, even if he is living in a cave in New Mexico with his many beautiful Alien wives) John Bonham or Keith Richards (I know he appears to be alive but seriously, have you seen the man up close?)

Following these Criteria I have selected:

1. Tom Morello - Rage Against The Machine, Audioslave, The Nightwatchman - Lead Guitar/Vocals (yes he can sing, The Nightwatchman is his pseudonym when he appears solo and...acoustic!)

Dat dere is one powaful riffer. Combine this with some mindboggling effects laden lead work, blues, jazz and rock chops and the ability to shred should the need arise... I have my candidate for Lead Guitar

2. James Hetfield - Metallica - Rythmn Guitar/Vocals

The Riffmeister himself. Responsible for such classics as "Master of Puppets" "Battery" and the ubiquitous "Enter Sandman". His Blinding speed mixed with some tight 'in the pocket' rythmn work along with his use of some excellent arpeggios makes him my choice for Rythmn Guitar...Did I mention he can solo?

His "I've been drinking tobacco smoke dissolved in bourbon since I was four" voice also makes him my choice for vocals. If you doubt me check him doing his vocal warmups before the concert on the S&M DVD...he's hamming it up but the dude can sing!

3. Flea - Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Bass/Stuffed Toy Pants Dancing (Check out the "Higher Ground" Video to see what I mean)

Well with his 'slap' bass skills as well has his speed and dexterity for normal rumblin' this man gets the nod to keep everyone groovin'. He doesn't seem to showcase it much on the RHCP albumns I have but when you see him in things like the 'Axis of Justice' DVD he can go nuts at will and improv like there's no tomorrow.

On top of all this he has cool pants and is the voice of 'Donny' in 'The Wild Thornberrys'

4. Danny Carey - TOOL - Drums

Lastly the drummer. With Danny what can I say? The man can play a separate rythmn on a different piece of equipment with all four limbs at the same time. He also plays the tabla and has a synth tabla that he hooks up to his drum kit. His extremely complex rythms would be a hard act to follow to begin with but the fact that they are not just for show and actually fit with the song make him a God (something that I think made Hendrix a God also was his ability to fit the very flowery and complex into a song.)

Feel free to submit your ideas on your super group. (Brett how in gods name are you gonna pick who leads out of Richie Sambora and Eric Clapton?)

Coming over the next few days...

Rock Orchestra, a 16 piece (at least) monstrosity featuring all the people I wanted to include but couldn't.


Supervolkenbanden. Thats right, grab your partner and docee(y?)-doh its folkin' time. The worlds greatest band...unplugged.


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