Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Things that have happened to me lately

1. Bomb scare on trains and buses in Brisbane.

Yes some cockwalrus called in a bomb threat. Consequently all buses and trains in the greater Brisbane area were stopped between 4:45 and 5:15pm. I myself experienced the havoc this caused as services were wound down leading up to the appointed time. My train was cancelled at 3:23...I had to wait a whole 10 minutes for the next one...unlucky. When I got off at Wilston some guy went and abused the guard in the last carriage. I didn't hear everything but lets just say it started with the passenger offering some choice words...and gestures to the guard...

Here is what occurred...

Passenger: Enraged mutterings and flashing the old "V" sign*
Guard: "We had a Bomb threat you F---ing Moron"

*Some sources claim this gesture came about as a taunt used by the English to enrage the French after the Battle of Agincourt. The French being heartily slaughtered by English Longbows at Agincourt then threatened to cut off the index and middle fingers of any captured Englishmen thus rendering them useless as bowmen. After this the English would present their fingers to the French from across the battlefield, probably shouting something akin to "Come and get them, you silly French Kinigits" I strongly doubt the guard was French so I am somewhat mystified by this.

Now normally the guard offering the explanation of a BOMB THREAT would make even the most foolhardy of irates back down but no. He counters with this...

Passenger: "You can't even run the F---ing trains"
Guard: "Why don't you F---ing walk then..? F---head!"

Anonymous Queensland Rail Guard...I salute you

2. Again some self righteous wanker arcing up at nothing in particular. There I am sitting down at my finest fried potato and grilled pisciform establishment when this prick, y'know one of those metrosexual guys with the giant sunnies and the little mohawks and the blowup blonde girlfriend walks through the tables and chairs set up outside. The owner of the aforementioned establishment is there with his mates having a good old yak. This dude has obviously thought that they've said something to him or about him and snarled at them then stalked off dragging his girl along. Needless to say everyone else present was a little perplexed and wondering why we have to be plagued with the only metrosexual male with tourettes in all of Brisbane.

3. Did my last exam EVER!!!

Dogs Rule.

That is all.

3 Comments:

Anonymous EJ said...

Yeah dogs!

Boo metrosexuals!

10:09 am  
Anonymous Jon Jon said...

Did the metro have his collar turned up?? I hate that!!

11:40 pm  
Blogger Dynamo said...

yeah he did...

what a dickhead

1:31 pm  

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